


sometimes becoming a stripper is all it takes

by loljoeno



Series: The Chronicles of Chan and the Spiky Lizard [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Chan is called Chris bc maybe chan will be his stripper name, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Its 3 am, Strippers & Strip Clubs, also chan did a lot more ballet than what he actually did but shh, every superhero has a backstory, hope you like it, i mean this is like the prolougue, i promise this is not crack, thats it, unbeta's as heck, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 11:32:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17283266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loljoeno/pseuds/loljoeno
Summary: Getting fired sucks. Especially when you're short on money.So, of course, Christopher Bang does the only sensible thing any other 22-year-old would do.He becomes a stripper





	sometimes becoming a stripper is all it takes

**Author's Note:**

> yes this is completely self-indulgent  
> yes i don only want to see Chan as a stripper
> 
> also in this, we call chan Chris bc Chan will be his stripper name lol
> 
> ps. this is kind of the prologue to this series soo, it doesnt have that much plot

There were many highs and lows in Christopher Bang's life that truly marked big changes in his future. Him getting accepted into a very prestigious university that he longed and dreamed of was definitely on the higher end of the scale.

Him getting fired from his long-time job was probably on the lower side.

It was quite stupid too; Yes, maybe he did fall asleep and the counter while working the cash register after not sleeping for three days due to a big test he had coming up. And perhaps it wasn't the first time this happened. But that didn't mean he was a bad employee.

Or maybe it did, Chris's coffee-addled, sleep deprived brain really didn't have the capacity to solve rather simple moral quandaries.

So, as he walked back to his tiny apartment, stumbling and wobbling enough that it was easy to mistake him for a drunk, Chris was able to come to the conclusion that he was very much fucked.

He had rent to pay, food to buy, school books to purchase; this really wasn't the time to get fired from his relatively well-paying job.

Chris barely noticed when he arrived at his apartment, and solemnly he walked up the stairs, paying no mind to the 'Out of Order' sign hanging on the elevator that had been hanging there for the past four months. Reaching the door to his home, he patted around his pockets only to find he'd left his keys in the apartment, before knocking on the door five times. 

He waited for a second, then heard loud footsteps thumping, and suddenly the door swung open, revealing his squirrel-faced roommate, Jisung.

"Hyung! You look terrible, did that dickhead stop by the shop again? I swear I'll tear him limb from limb, I'll-"

Chris, always quick to stop Jisung from rambling, quickly answered, "No, I just got fired, though." As he said that, he ducked under Jisung's arm that he was using to lean against the doorframe and walked leisurely into the apartment, heading straight to the fridge.

Jisung's mouth shut, before swiftly regaining his bearings and followed Chris, hot on his heels. "What do you mean you got fired?" 

Grabbing a diet Coke from the fridge, Chris looked back up at Jisung. "I got fired because I fell asleep while I was taking a lady's order. Now come sit with me on the couch."

Jisung stared incredulously at the blond but followed him nonetheless. Reaching the couch, Chris sat down, and for the first time in seven months, he felt himself relax completely.

"We have rent to pay, Hyung," Jisung said, cautiously sitting next to the other, watching him as if he were a ticking time bomb.

"I know, love."

"The landlord said that if we paid late again, we're getting kicked out." 

"I know, Jisung."

"Changbin-hyung said he would delete your kneecaps if you didn't pay him ba-" Chris softly placed a finger on Jisung's lips and shushed him, shutting him up. Jisung looked at the finger, then at Chris, at the finger, then at Chris, before deciding that, yup, his hyung was having a breakdown.

"All those are problems that I will deal with, tomorrow," Chris said finally, opening his eyes, not really sure when he had closed them in the first place.

He heard Jisung sigh, who just nodded and allowed himself to relax too. "Whatever you say, hyung."

Chris allowed his eyes to dip closed one more time, before drifting off into the sweet embrace of sleep.

Yeah, this was a problem that he would solve later. If anything, it wasn't even that big of a deal.

 

* * *

 

Chris was wrong, it was a big deal.

Waking up on the couch wasn't something Chris wasn't used to, after countless nights writing essays and finishing projects, he could easily say that sleeping on the couch wasn't something that made him feel terrible.

Waking up after sleeping for twelve hours, therefore missing all his morning classes, as well as time spent without eating  _was_ pretty terrible, though.

That,  _and_ the looming threat of his unemployment.

Chris groaned, rubbing at his eyes drearily.  _God_ , he just wanted to curl back to sleep and not face his problems. He felt his chest tighten, and the corners of his eyes prick. His breath began to pick up the pace as he allowed himself to be consumed by stress.

Suddenly, the jingle of his ringtone began to blast. He attempted to ignore it for a second, but soon it became futile, and blindly he reached over to grab the cause of whatever pulled him out of his wallowing.

Checking his phone, which surprisingly enough, still had some battery, the caller ID read 'Bambam'.

Taking a deep breath, he decided to answer. Bambam was one of his oldest friends, someone whom he trusted deeply, and surprisingly offered good advice most of the time.

Putting the phone up to his ear, he answered, "H'llo?"

Bambam's voice soon filled his ears, as he answered in his usual loud self, "Chris!"

The call continued normally, as Chris attempted to make himself sound as normal as possible and as if he wasn't on the verge of a panic attack a few seconds ago. But he could only assume he sounded horrible, and it wasn't long before Bambam made a comment on it.

"What's up, Chris? You sound kind of down?" He asked, worry evident in his voice.

Chris shrugged, although he knew Bambam couldn't see him. "I just- I got fired yesterday. And my asshole boss wouldn't even give me my last paycheck, and I'm kinda in a pinch for money right now so I'm a bit stressed, and- and I don't know if-"

Bambam's voice quickly interrupted him, and simultaneously stopped him from spiralling, "Woah, woah, woah. Chris, honey, relax. I think I can probably hook you up with a job if you need on."

Chris choked and his eyes widened. "R-Really?! You think so?" he stuttered out.

Bambam hummed, "Yeah, it's- it's the place where I work at but..." He trailed off as if searching for the right words, before continuing, "It's best you come to see for your self and decide."

Chan blinked, too high on the sudden adrenaline rush of the prospect that he might get a job to care about Bambam's hesitance. "Yes, of course! Name a place and time and I'll be there!"

The other laughed a bit, before answering, "Okay, then. How about I pick you up tonight, and I'll take you to where I work, and you can decide from there."

Chris nodded enthusiastically and replied to Bambam graciously. The other let out another giggle, and their conversation diverted a bit once again, Chris allowing himself to relax a bit.

As the call soon came to an end, Chris stopped Bambam from hanging up, "Thank you again, Bammie. It really means a lot."

He could practically hear Bambam's smile when he answered, "Of course, Chris!"

A few hours passed, Chris took a shower, ate the leftover pizza from the fridge, diligently ignoring the little note on the top left by Changbin distinctly stating to not eat it. After that, he texted different acquaintances he had in each class to send him the notes they took today in the classes he's missed. After that he texted his study group, stating that he wouldn't be able to go to due to an emergency.

There were still a few more hours left until Bambam said he was going to pick him up, and as he sat on the couch, finish a paper he had due for the next week (It was always important to be productive) the door to the apartment slammed open, revealing a very happy-looking Changbin.

Chris smirked. He could easily guess as to why Changbin looked too happy.

Before the other could even say anything, Chris looked at him cheekily, "So," he drawled, "I reckon your date with Felix went well."

Changbin's smiling face soon morphed into one of embarrassment, as he turned to glare at Chris.  "Shut your mouth!" 

Chris let out a little giggle. He turned back to his laptop, going back to writing away.

A few moments later, he felt a weight plop down on the other side of the couch. Changbin leaned back a bit, his eyes shutting. "Jisungie told me you got fired last night."

Chris only hummed in response. Changbin went on, "Damn, I knew you didn't really like that job, but the pay was good."

Chris shrugged, turning to look at the other, "Yeah, but I was getting really sick of that coffee smell anyway." Changbin snorted, "Plus, Bambam said he could hook me up with a new job, so I'm not that worried."

Changbin made a noise of understanding, "So that's why I came home to you lying on the couch and not running around like a headless chicken trying to find a job." 

Chris smiled at him, opening his mouth to answer, but Changbin beat him to it, "Listen, man, I know how easily you stress, so don't worry if you can't pay your share of the rent this month, as long as you pay me back, I got you covered.

Chris didn't reply for a moment. He just stared at Changbin, who began to fidget a bit, when suddenly Chris threw himself on top of the younger, pulling him into a tight bear-hug.

" _Awww_ , Binnie~ You're gonna' make me cry!" 

Changbin groaned and rolled his eyes, but hugged Chris regardless.

Later that evening, Chris found himself looking at himself in the bathroom mirror, making sure he looked good for whatever he was about to face. It was at that moment that Chris realised that he literally had no clue as to what was this new job Bambam was offering. All he knew was that Bambam worked as some sort of entertainer and that he got a  _lot_ of money out of it.

Before Chris could begin to regret his decisions phone buzzed, and soon enough he found himself hopping into Bambam's sleek, black car. His suspicions were now confirmed: this job  _did_ pay well.

After doing their usual greetings, a comfortable, if not nervous, silence filled the car, and Chris took to staring out the window. 

He slowly began to realise the subtle changes in the nightlife as they approached their destination. Signs to harmless shops and apartments morphed into neon lights and scantily clad people began to show up more and more.

Before Chris could start asking questions, the car stopped, and Bambam turned to look at him, "We're here!"

Bambam led him out of the car to a black building, with one door and a gruff-looking bouncer. Without saying a word, the bouncer simply let Bambam and Chris in. 

Before Chris could put two and two together, he was quickly met with bright, neon colours, defused by the darkness surrounding many nooks and crannies of the very large room. At the middle was a brightly lit stage, where there was no one at the moment. Chris felt himself blush at the realisation that there were multiple poles littered around the room. Around the stage, there was some space, where he saw multiple people, some dancing, and others walking around with trays carrying different drinks.  
Against the walls were dimly lit booths, where mostly middle-aged men seemed to congregate, the occasional woman appearing here and there.

Rather belatedly, his mind was able to come to the conclusion that it was a strip club, especially after seeing one of them, what he had assumed were waiters, who was wearing nothing but a pair of small, leather booty shorts, a bow tie, and some thigh highs, sat down on one of the patrons laps, drinks in hand.

Jumping, he felt Bambam's warm hand grab his shoulder, directing his attention elsewhere.

"Welcome, Chris, to the Spikey Lizard!"

Chris felt himself blink multiple times, looking around, making sure what he was seeing was right. "The...  _Spiky Lizard_?" 

Bambam rolled his eyes at that, crossing his arms and huffing. "Yeah, I know, quite a dumb name, but you should have heard what it was originally gonna be called: The  _Horny Hive-"_

"-Bambam?"

Hearing his name, Bambam turned, looking at the person who had spoken to him, before smiling widely, "Yugyeom!"

Chris felt heat rise to his cheeks as he eyed  _Yugeom's_ outfit or lack thereof. He wore pretty much the same thing as the other worker, though this time with a long tie.

"I thought today was  your day off?"

"It is, but I have a friend here who needs a job desperately."

Yugyeom leaned over to look behind Bambam, and Chris found the need to wave, letting out a meek, 'hi'.

"Oh, so fresh meat, huh? Hello! My names Yugyeom, nice to meet you!" he said, extending a friendly hand. Chris carefully took it, shaking it, "L- Likewise."

Turning back to Bambam, he said, "There aren't anymore bartending jobs if that's what you had in mind."

Bambam waved his hand dismissively, "It's not." he replied, "I think Chris would make an  _excellent_ dancer."

Chris's head whipped over to look at his friend, "What!?"

Bambam wrapped an arm around his shoulders reassuringly. "Listen, Chris, working as a dancer here is great. The pay is great, and since you're new, you're not gonna be expected to do anything wild."

Yugyeom hummed in agreement, "Bammie is right, though, you should be able to know how to dance." He narrowed his eyes at Chris, " You can dance, right?

Chris nodded, "Uh- yeah, I did ballet through most of high school."

Yugyeom looked a bit impressed, and Chris couldn't help but feel a bit of pride pool inside him. "That's good. Ballet gives you good resistance, but have you ever walked in heels, though?"

Chris had a sudden flashback to being fourteen years old, and appeasing his younger sister's wish to play dress up, in which he wore a pair of his mother's highest heels, and felt this rush of empowerment. It had been his little secret from then on that he would occasionally put on a pair of heels, just to see how it feels.

Realising he hadn't answered yet, he finally replied, "Yeah, I can walk pretty decently."

Yugyeom scrutinized him a bit. Then, he smiled, "Okay, Chris, let me just talk to the manager, and I'll get you all set."

Before Chris could realise what was happening, he was enveloped in a hug by Bambam. 

"I'm so happy, Chris! I always knew you'd make a great stripper!"

Chris choked on his spit, looking incredulously at the other, "What does that mean?"

"It means that you have a great body and a meaty ass!"

Chris cuffed him on the arm, before returning the hug.

After a few moments, he realised that he was going to become a stripper.

Huh.

As long as it paid the bills.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> hope you liked this! please comments or kudos or anything! it would be much appreciated  
> i will write a sequel with an actual plot later


End file.
